15 Scientifically Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship

We understand that partnerships are difficult. We may question if they were meant to be this difficult - that no matter how perfect, kind, hilarious, or handsome our partner is, they may occasionally drive us insane. Eli J. Finkel examines the idea that, in the past, marriage and long-term unions were based primarily on convenience and survival, and that it is only in the last century that we have begun to expect our spouses to be more than this in his outstanding book 'The All or Nothing Marriage - to be our best friend, our hot lover, and our breakfast-in-bed cooks Finkel makes an interesting case that it is extremely rare for people to be blissfully and perfectly matched and that a 'good enough' union is more prevalent.

15 Scientifically Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship

If we keep this in mind, we may relieve some of the strain on ourselves if our relationships aren't always blissfully happy. However, there are certain science-backed methods for enhancing a relationship that is based on a recent study on communication and emotions. Many of these beliefs are founded on the idea that a healthy relationship doesn't just happen when we meet our soul-mate,' but rather develops through time as both individuals are open to change and able to grow together. With that in mind, 

Here are 15 scientifically proven techniques to improve your relationship.

1. Concentrate on making eye contact.

"Eye contact can inform us if someone is listening and attending to us," says David Keatley, Director of Researchers in Behaviour Sequence Analysis (ReBSA) at the University of Lincoln in the United Kingdom. It can indicate that they are paying attention to us. It can then express their feelings, such as concern, pleasure, happiness, and love.'

Tip: The next time you're speaking with your spouse, make sure you maintain eye contact and show that you're listening to what they're saying.

15 Scientifically Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship

2. Make a Sex Schedule!

The distinction between types of arousal for different people is described by relationship expert Emily Nagoski, author of 'Come as You Are.' While some people become sexually aroused spontaneously, others may only feel sexually aroused in response to stimulation, which means we might occasionally be out of sync with our relationships. What is the solution? Make time to focus on intimacy in a comfortable and available environment for both of you.

Tip: Set up a time each week with your spouse to get intimate, ensuring that you have enough time and solitude to truly enjoy yourselves.

What if, though, your partnership isn't working in the bedroom?

Also Read:- Man Wants These 3 Things From Every Woman

3. Boundaries

If we've found The One, we may feel as if we don't need to worry about boundaries or set expectations. Boundaries, on the other hand, are necessary for even the best of relationships. Knowing your partner's level of comfort with specific activities (e.g., looking through his or her phone, posting on social media, discussing private concerns with friends) allows you to both feel confident that the other person will respect your wishes.

Tip: Once things are more formal, establish the concept of limits and discuss your expectations for your spouse.

15 Scientifically Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship

4. Make repairs

We understand that disagreements arise from time to time, and things might get unpleasant. One of the most well-known relationship researchers, John Gottman, emphasizes the necessity of healing following a disagreement or conflict. We may believe that the harm has been done if we've said nasty things or been angry or upset, but what matters is how we heal the damage. It's critical to communicate with our spouse the reasons for the outburst, as well as what you'll do differently next time, in order to restore a sense of safety and security in the relationship and allow it to continue forward.

Tip: After an argument, find a time when you are both calm to approach your partner and speak through what happened to cause the disagreement, the issues highlighted, and methods to handle things better next time.

Also Read:- The Strangest Thing Men Desire. (And how it can make him crazy for you.

5. Work on regulating your emotions

Emotion regulation, according to Marsha Lineham, the originator of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), is the key to bettering relationships and overall wellbeing. Understanding and enduring intense emotions, as well as adopting a variety of methods to help us feel calmer and more capable of coping, are all important aspects of emotion regulation. This is especially true in partnerships.

Tip: If you're arguing with your partner and you're feeling furious or overwhelmed, take a step back and do something relaxing like taking a shower, going for a walk, or phoning a friend.

When it comes to arguing with your partner, there is a good and wrong ways to do it. A Relish relationship coach can assist you in breaking the dispute cycle and identifying the source of the problem.

15 Scientifically Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship

6. Don't Make Comparisons

We are bombarded with pictures of other people's happiness and seemingly ideal relationships now more than ever before, which can make our own, perfectly imperfect relationships feel dull and unsatisfactory in contrast. It's vital to realize that no relationship, no matter how good it appears, is flawless and that comparing relationships can lead to a false sense of what's important (especially since most people post their highlight reels on social media).

If you're worried about your relationship, limit your usage of social media and instead focus on fixing the core issues you've seen, such as communication, trust, or intimacy.

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7. Concentrate on friendship

We often forget that the most successful relationships are founded on a solid foundation of friendship. This isn't to say that you should friend-zone your partner; rather, performing exciting things together, exchanging personal jokes, and moving out of your comfort zone together can greatly elevate a relationship and take it away from the domestic, day-to-day realities.

Tip: Think of a fun activity you can do with your spouse, such as playing online trivia, hiking together, or even making a funny movie together. Anything that takes you out of your 'day to day and puts you in a different frame of mind.

15 Scientifically Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship

8. It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Long lengths of time together might make us numb to our partner's presence - they can just be 'there,' and we can become upset by particular habits - or apathetic to their existence. The reality is that we do occasionally need to miss our spouses, and that's time' and personal space are essential. Even if you're locked in the same place for the duration, having days where you limit your interaction with your partner and do exactly what you want to do might be beneficial. Time spent alone is energizing and clarifying, especially for introverts, and it can help us appreciate our partners in new ways.

Tip: Schedule a day or more each week where you and your partner do activities apart and talk about why.

9. Don't Forget to Use Your Hands!

Tiffany Field asserts in her book 'Touch' that touch is more powerful than verbal or emotional communication in many situations. Touch is essential for children's development, growth, and health, as well as adults' physical and emotional well-being.

Tip: Give your partner nonverbal expressions of affection, such as a spontaneous hug, a pat on the back, or a kiss on the cheek, when you're together.

What if I told you that One of the 5 Love Languages is "Physical Touch." Find new ways to communicate with your partner.

15 Scientifically Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship

10. Choose your battles wisely.

Have you ever been in a fight with your partner that didn't seem to be going anywhere? When we have to coexist with someone 24 hours a day, we can become irritated by a variety of things they do. Unfortunately, these irritations can accumulate and contribute to a pattern of bad interactions in the relationship, resulting in less sex, increased discontent, and repeated separations. Choosing your fights - the most essential concerns that need to be addressed - is a smart method that allows us to ignore the minor details.

Tip: Before you chastise your partner about something, ask yourself if it's really that essential.

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11. Discover your tribe

It may seem counterintuitive that a relationship tip encourages you to spend more time apart, but stay with me: research shows that people who are the happiest have strong ties outside of their marriage, whether they are social groups, close friends, sports teams, or community groups. The more positive interactions we have in our life, the better our individual relationships are, and social support is a predictor of a number of positive health outcomes. 

Tip: Think about your present social ties, and if there's a void, look for online or in-person catch-ups like a reading club, group fitness class, hiking group, or volunteer opportunity.

15 Scientifically Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship

12. Watch out for the HALT

When both parties are sleep-deprived, mourning, stressed, hungry, or in pain, even the most harmonious relationship can be put to the test. When we're Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (or HALT for short), our capacity to regulate our emotions and feel empathy for others around us is significantly harmed, so it's understandable that this isn't the best time to have large conversations or make crucial decisions.

Tip: If you're frustrated or angry at your partner, think about whether it's a HALT situation, and then take action to fix it (eg. have something to eat, have a nap, and leave the conversation for another day).

13. Synchronize

According to research, we're significantly more likely to feel connected with our spouse if we have comparable schedules - that is, if we go to bed at the same time, wake up at the same time, and eat at the same time. This makes a lot of sense, but with uncertain work schedules, it might be difficult to implement on a daily basis. Nonetheless, it's important to remember that having comparable habits means spending more quality time together and having opportunities to connect at the start and end of each day.

Tip: Talk about some days of the week when you might be able to align your schedules or share a lunch break or a short breakfast before work with your partner.

14. Turn off the lights in the bedroom.

Did you know that couples who have a television in their bedroom have less sex than those who don't? That study was conducted many years ago, before the advent of cell phones, but you can picture what it might look like now. Phones are distracting and easy to use when you're weary and worn out, so make sure they have a permanent home in your bedroom.

Tip: Discuss with your partner the possibility of banning phones from the bedroom on certain evenings of the week, and see what else you can do with your time!

15. Relationship Hygiene in Practice

Grooming and dental brushing are not included in this (although hopefully, those are happening as well). "Love doesn't just stay there, like a stone; it had to be formed, like bread, remade all the time, made new," says Ursula Le Guin in a great statement. This is especially true when we consider that there are two persons in the relationship who are always developing and changing - and this will have an impact on the connection.

Relationship hygiene essentially entails checking in on a regular basis to ensure that you're on the same page, that you're working toward your objectives, that difficulties are being resolved, and that everyone is happy. This may seem unusual, but scheduling these check-ins allows you to address issues as they arise rather than waiting until a catastrophe occurs six months down the road. Best of all, you can include these into a date night, because what's more enticing than discussing life objectives over a delicious meal?

Are you ready to take the first step toward a more fulfilling relationship? Relish has all the relationship advice and date night ideas you'll ever need.

Keep Learning

If that sounds like fun to you, click here to watch a video presentation about this relationship enhancement tool.

It's something you can learn once but then use for the rest of your life.